Now, there's a lot of articles, info and advice floating around the internet for soon-to-be freshers, especially with the dreaded A level results day looming, but these almost exclusively focus on what to pack and new housemates and moving away. That's really great, and us home birds know we're in the minority, but I certainly found when I was preparing to start my first semester three years ago that there wasn't much in terms of reassurance for someone like me, which is why I think now's the perfect time to share my thoughts and experiences on being a stay-at-home student.
I was very apprehensive when I first started university for all the usual reasons - new places and people are scary, even in a familiar town - but particularly because I thought I would be the only person that hadn't moved away. Everyone will have made friends in their halls and they'll think I'm weird for not being part of that, thought I. This, for me at least, did not prove to be true for two main reasons. 1) I was not the only one. In fact, my two best friends from uni also turned out to be fellow locals. I think we bonded right at the start of term over this very fact and we stuck together for the following three years. And there were more than just us three, even on our fairly small course which says a lot. 2) Everyone has room for more friends. One of the things I loved about uni was being with all sorts of people from all different backgrounds: people from across the country, from different countries, of all ages, classes and cultures. It wasn't like being the new kid at school because we were all the new kids and just because you know the town doesn't mean you know the campus. You're all in it together and that's something that's really important to remember: you are just as much of a student as everyone else is.
Don't put yourself down because your university experience is different to the next person's and don't let anyone tell you "you're not doing uni right". Of course your experience is going to be different, you're different people! Everyone's is different, whether they live 100 m from campus or 100 miles. It's important to remember why you're at uni at all, and if the main reason isn't to study then you're probably in the wrong place.
Something else I would say is to remove the word "only" from your vocabulary when talking about where you study, especially to people from your hometown. I was a student at Bournemouth University and I live in a small town within 10 miles of it. Until recently, for reasons I don't really understand, conversations at work would often go like this:
Customer: So are you a student?
Me: Yes, I'm studying for an English degree.
Customer: So where do you study?
Me: Only at Bournemouth...I live at home.
Firstly, I don't see the need for the word "only" and I wish I had realised this sooner. I was 'a student at Bournemouth University', not 'a student, but only at Bournemouth University'. I worked just as hard as everyone else to get in and I wouldn't be saying "only at BU" if I'd moved counties to get there, would I? Secondly, I don't know why I always felt like I needed to add my residence - no one asked where you lived, George, it wasn't the question. I guess all along I felt not-quite legitimate as a student because I wasn't living in a shared house and I didn't want people (strangers included) to get the wrong idea about me. It was like I was trying to justify my response. Yes, I'm studying but I'm not an *inverted commas* student, not really. Except I was, I was 100% a real student, and you will be too if you're thinking of staying home. You're legit, I promise.
There are loads of pluses to being a stay-at-home student too, money being an obvious one. Tuition fees alone cost a disgusting amount of money and loans to give you nightmares (thanks, the Tories) but I can sleep a little better at night knowing that I don't have a whopping great maintenance loan to contend with too. Living at home saved me from that, and from all the worries that go along with housing and landlords (mine's pretty great, we go waaaay back). Sure, I paid my mum a share every month to keep me under her roof and petrol driving to and from lectures every day wasn't cheap, but it was nothing compared to what I'd have paid if I'd moved out. Money is a tough topic so if you're looking to save then staying at home is definitely something to consider.
Speaking of money, staying home also meant I could keep my part time job that I'd had since starting sixth form, which I see as a real bonus. I could not afford to be without part time income and being able to stay in my old job meant that it was always steady and consistent, without me having to worry about swapping shifts to visit home for the weekend or having to give up a job all together because of the long summer break. It was the best of both worlds really. I could keep my job, see my school friends and family (and most importantly remain with my cats), all whilst expanding my mind and my social circles at university. I was independent of my family - I cooked for myself, I came and went for myself, and hardly saw they from day to day at times - but I knew they'd still be there to make me tea and give me a hug at the end of the day. In many ways my life stayed the same when I started uni but it also changed a hell of a lot. I have developed hugely as a person, my thoughts and opinions have altered and I've added many a string to my bow. I loved my time at university, full of laughs, fun, tears, love and (*cliche alert*) I can't imagine what it would have been like had I chosen to go elsewhere. Different, very different.
Of course, I'm only speaking from my own experience and I don't know your circumstances, neither are they my business. I'm not going into my reasons for staying at home right now, nor should you have to justify yours, but it's not a decision to be taken lightly. Be thoughtful, do your research, and consider if it's for you, I'm not saying it's for everyone. I wasn't your "average" student, sure (and I don't drink either, just to really drive home your stereotypes), but I was A student. Maybe my experience wasn't as hazy and idyllic as the one dreamed up on a colourful prospectus, but that doesn't make it any less of an experience.
Ultimately, I went for a degree and I came out with a degree. When I walk across the graduation stage in November they're not going to say "with first class honours, Georgia Stephenson, except she lived at home so it doesn't count for as much!" because, quite simply, it does. My time was valid and if you're fretting about staying at home, let me say that yours will be too. Don't worry, you can't do uni wrong.
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