Anti-Bucket List: November

The beginning of November seems like such a long time ago. In a way this year seems to have gone by so rapidly but at the same time recent events feel like a lifetime ago. This month has been a bit topsy-turvy in all. If you think of a graph I'd say that November started off up high then descended to a low point (Trump was elected, I missed out on an ideal job, some anxiety struggles, lack of shifts at work, need I say more...), but now I'm climbing back up a bit and trailing off somewhere in the middle, back to the status quo.

I haven't made much time for my blog in recent weeks and that's something I want to rectify in the new year but my Anti-Bucket List remains a constant that keeps me on the writing track. December starts tomorrow and I couldn't let that happen without reflecting on November - here it is:

• I graduated university! (That was the high at the start of the month). It's been such a long time coming but at last we made it. The day was so lovely, if a little too short and quick. It was super good to see everyone again, my mortar board didn't fall off AND I didn't trip over on stage so it was a success all in all. I won't go on for too long because I've said it all before but graduation day was such a milestone. First, there was three years of study, then finishing dissertation was a big deal, then we finished all together, then we got results and graduation was the very last big deal of all. Almost bittersweet but still a marvellous day. (Now onto less exciting things...).
• I watched fireworks from my car and had sparklers (not in my car) which is an overlooked favourite of mine.
• I had another job interview which I didn't get but I only missed by a hair. This was a big contributor to my downward graph - I was gutted but I'll include it in my good things list because it helped me realise what I want.
• I experimented with baking and came out with some successful Chocolate Orange cupcakes which I posted here.
• I read Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur (among other things) and it was really something special. Everyone on Instagram was right with their recommendations. 
• I was presented with my 5 Years' Service badge from Sainsbury's. I'm not sure if that is an achievement, it was certainly never my intention, but it's nice to be recognised. 
• I went ice skating at an outdoor rink in the dark with all the Christmas lights on. That was nice. I didn't fall over. That was nice too.
• I saw Fantastic Beasts which was fantastic (sorry). 1920s NYC is so cool and it was super nice to be back in the Wizarding World.
• I caught up with old friends on various occasions which is always good. It's weird to think that when I was at school I got to see my friends EVERY DAY and now it's only a few times a month. Makes it all the more special though. 
• I marked the one year anniversary of losing my Grandad Ted by visiting his village churchyard. It seems strange to be writing about this private moment but November has very much become his month so it would be even stranger to miss it out. I miss him everyday. I don't think I'll say more. 

When I put these lists together I always go through my journal to remind me of what's been happening and this month the phrase "I'm feeling a bit mehhh" kept popping up. This month has had more lows than previous ones but as I said, I'm getting back to the status quo and this list has shown that not everything's down in the dumps. One particular journal entry that sticks out is this, from the day Trump was elected:

"I don't understand how or why this has happened and it physically hurts to think about the hatred he spreads. The reasonable me knows that this won't really be the end of the world but it certainly feels like it."

I think it's important to remember that even when it feels like things are falling apart, usually they aren't. There is always goodness to be found. I'm on the up, I'm being productive and we're heading into December which is always a mad (but excellent) grande finale to the year. Here's hoping my graph keeps climbing.